|
Author
|
Topic: what s happening here
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
AKATT
Mega Member
Member # 38
|
posted 09-09-2002 09:53 PM
    
one sure fire way of getting more pople on board is to give away a console..Like an Xbox or PS2 or GC..........well Bomu??  as for Jokes: ------------------------------- A car battery, a jumper cable and a bra walk into a pub. The bra asks the barman for 3 pints of beer.
The barman says “No way am I serving any alcohol to you three”.
“Why not?” asks the bra.
“Because you’re off your tits, and your friends look like they wanna start something!” ---------------------------------------- Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says; I don’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don’t get it.”
“Well,” says the big alligator, “what have you been eating?”
“Lawyers, same as you,” replies the small alligator.
“Hm. Well, where do you catch’em?”
“Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp.”
“Same here. Hm. How do you catch’em?”
“Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite’em, shake the shit out of ‘em, and eat’em!”
“Ah!” says the big alligator, “I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin’ the shit out of a lawyer, there’s nothing’ left but lips and a briefcase... --------------------------------------
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is Bowling.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is Football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is Baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is Tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is Golf.
THE AMAZING CONCLUSION
The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become. ----------------------------------------
--------------------
Final Fantasy
Posts: 451 | From: London, England | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bobby Drake
Newbie
Member # 8
|
posted 10-09-2002 06:48 PM
it's turning blue"I think I have a problem, Doc," says the patient. "One of my balls has turned blue." The doctor examines the man briefly and concludes the patient will die if he doesn't have his testicle removed. "Are you crazy?" bursts the patient, "How could I let you do such a thing to me!" "You want to die?" asks the doctor rhetorically, and the patient has to agree to have his testicle removed. Two weeks after the operation, he comes back. "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue too." Again, the doctor tells him if he wants to live, his other testicle must be cut off, too, and, again, the man is very reluctant to the idea. "Hey, you want to die?" asks the doc, and the patient has to agree with the operation. But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returns to the doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now completely blue." After briefly examining the patient, the doc gives him the bad news: if he wants to live, his penis has to go. Of course, he does not want to hear about it. "You want to die?" asks the doctor. "But, how do I pee?" "We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no problem." So, he has his penis removed, and, a while after the operation, the unfortunate man enters, again, the doctor's office. He is very angry. "Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue!" "What?" "Can you tell me what the heck is happening!?" So, the doctor examines the patient more carefully and says, "Hmmm, I don't know, but I think it could be the jeans."  maarten
Posts: 14 | From: Rotterdam, the Netherlands | Registered: Jan 2002 | IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pixie Nim
Grand Member
Member # 35
|
posted 12-09-2002 03:07 PM
Okay, don't kill me for this one, it's fairly naughty.... ;)
Oh, and it's a bit of a UK joke, so I apologise in advance....Kylie Minogue, Robbie Williams and Will Young are out clubbing together... they're having an amazing time, and getting very drunk - in fact, half way through the evening Will and Robbie decide they have to take Kylie home, since she's utterly plastered... They take her outside to get a taxi, and as she's tottering down the steps she trips over her high heels, and gets her head caught in the railings at the bottom of the stairs.
Robbie takes one look at Kylie's rear end and thinks, "I'm never going to get another chance like this," so while she's struggling to get her head free, he pulls down his trousers and does her one from behind. When he's done, he turns to Will with a cheeky grin, winks, and says, "your turn, mate".
Will stares at him for a second, then bursts into tears,
"But I'll never get my head through those railings!" _____________________________________________ Pixie
--------------------
sexy pants! hee hee!
Posts: 281 | From: ganjaland | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
G.i.A.m.
Moderator
Member # 14
|
posted 13-09-2002 08:22 PM
yup the board is really rolling now I guess it was just the normal weekend lag.plastic nice joke (but I cant tell it other people they know I dont have a brother :glare  ok one dirty joke translated straight from german jungle, laughter is echoing through the forest.
The lions get curious and try to find the source of the noise that disturbs their midday rest.
After a sometime of wandering they finaly discover who is laughing so hard. It is a group of elephants.
The lions ask them "elephants why are you laughing".
The leader of the elephant group turns around and says "well we had sex with the monkeys".
The lions are confused "why is this funny we had sex with the monkeys too"
"Yes" the elephant replied "but the're Not bursting"
ok and one that I got from the internet
There are only 10 types of people.
One that understand binary the other is an idiot. I like it (and it took me under a minute to get the joke after reading it ).
--------------------
Wer nicht vom Meister lernt, lernt nie etwas. Wer nur vom Meister lernt, lernt nie genug.
Posts: 1063 | From: Germany, Giessen | Registered: Jan 2002 | IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
AKATT
Mega Member
Member # 38
|
posted 14-09-2002 12:52 AM
yeah, another one;On the first day God created the cow. God said, “You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said, “That’s a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I’ll give back the other forty.”
And God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give back the other ten.”
So God agreed (sigh).
On the third day God created the monkey. God said, entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty year life span.”
Monkey said, “How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?”
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man. God said, “Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I’ll give you twenty years.”
Man said, “What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I’ll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?”
“Okay,” said God. “You’ve got a deal.”
So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.
--------------------
Final Fantasy
Posts: 451 | From: London, England | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
My Profile | 
Register | 
Search | 
FAQ | 
Forum Home
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
posted 09-09-2002 06:05 PM
