The one on the right is better one of the two.

It's cool, in another post felt you weren't getting anywhere, well you are.

I could be wrong, but... how tense are you when you hold the pen? Your line looks a little stiff.

If you relax your hand it may make a difference or I am be coming out with complete bollx.

Solution... er... er... don't lean hard

I use a clutch pencil, with a 2B lead. I don't sharpen it I wear it into a slope - like leads in compasses.

My first shetch is light lines very roughly into place, then I add where I "see" it missing, bit by bit.

That's what I do , but there will be as many ways as there are people.

Last bit - don't be in a hurry to do it all at once.

zooloo