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Author Topic: The Dreamer
AKATT
Mega Member

Member # 38

posted 20-05-2002 03:25 AM     Profile for AKATT   Email AKATT     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
well, seeing that everyone seemed to think that my last was okay here's another poem. I'm still in two minds what the theme of my song should be about. Well enjoy (at least try)

THE DREAMER

From young you were so bright
A star burning in the night
So talented were you
So damn hard to subdue

From young I was a laze
My life full yet filled with haze
From birth we were together
And will always be forever

Your talent took you high
But I forced you not to fly
You try to stand so tall
But crumble at my call

You write you draw you dream
You I ruin not with scheme
You could already be so far
But your path I do so bar

I do not mean the pain
To stop you from any gain
But so much laziness have I
You may suffer until you die

Try harder now I must
To save you and keep your trust
I have to change my way
Or future shall make you pay

I am so damn laid back
You have so much on your rack
So much you want to do
Thanks to me four years you blew

Forever we will be
Yes, only you and me
Together we are sat
You and I is Akatt

--------------------
Final Fantasy


Posts: 451 | From: London, England | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
the metalman
Grand Member

Member # 42

posted 20-05-2002 06:11 AM     Profile for the metalman   Email the metalman     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
this ones kinda strange...yeah multiple subjects for a poem is confusing for me
Posts: 162 | From: TX | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
AKATT
Mega Member

Member # 38

posted 20-05-2002 07:40 AM     Profile for AKATT   Email AKATT     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
which bit didn't you get?

--------------------
Final Fantasy

Posts: 451 | From: London, England | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
the metalman
Grand Member

Member # 42

posted 20-05-2002 09:38 AM     Profile for the metalman   Email the metalman     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
i mean its kool n all..its just me thats not poetic...
Posts: 162 | From: TX | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
AKATT
Mega Member

Member # 38

posted 20-05-2002 09:48 AM     Profile for AKATT   Email AKATT     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
i've bin told it's not really a poem (or if it is it's 'sub-average') but more of a song. I didn't understand but that's cool with me cos i wanna rite a song after all.

--------------------
Final Fantasy

Posts: 451 | From: London, England | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
G.i.A.m.
Moderator

Member # 14

posted 22-05-2002 03:06 PM     Profile for G.i.A.m.   Email G.i.A.m.     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
na this can't be a poem it doesn't even rhyme (sorry don't remember where I heard that joke).

but you should realy move this into the rock stuff would be the right thing for those writing.

--------------------
Wer nicht vom Meister lernt, lernt nie etwas.

Wer nur vom Meister lernt, lernt nie genug.


Posts: 1063 | From: Germany, Giessen | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Intergalactic_del
Grand Member

Member # 55

posted 22-05-2002 06:39 PM     Profile for Intergalactic_del   Email Intergalactic_del     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
how about


grease dont pop from the stove no more
Moved on up,
double shot hennesy fill my cup
till i wild out,
WHAT THE FUCK?

how you gon act like my rims aint clean?
how you gon act like my neck dont bling?
haters get sprayed like Afro sheen
but they dont ever really wanna pop them thangs

well thats all i can remember for now
peace out

--------------------
call me del
the funky monkey
inter_d
yo daddy


Posts: 114 | From: Montana | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged

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