I can liken this game to only one thing. Pulling a really gorgeous bird at a nightclub. Taking her home. Lifting up her skirt and finding yourself staring at a cock n balls. Not that this has happened to me, but I can imagine the horror.

The story is fucked up completely. Youre on an island with no people, but apparently it's a city. In the middle is some wierd fucked up corporate hq. Theres hardly any dialouge, you find nothing out about Sparda, and nothing new about Dante. There's hardly any puzzles. Despite Dante looking better, the rest of the graphics look shitter than the original. The demons are not scary, the game moves slower somehow, Ebony + Ivory dont sound as manly as they did in DMC1. You have no demon swords, and only one demon form which has no presense to it unlike Alastor and Ifrit did. The game moves from one miniboss to the next, who are all annoying, Dante no longer buys moves, he just powers up weapons with no real visible effect. The Sparda sword is gone (that pissed me off the most, despite having no devil trigger, it's too much fun to put away). The main bad guy has no personality to speak of, has no generals or interesting demon humans who he sends after Dante, wouldve been good to have scenes of them getting more pissed, and head baddie sending them all to their doom one after the other, not to mention the fact that he looks like Heyachi(dont know how you spell it) from Tekken and has the worst voice EVER for a demon. Hell is ruled by a BLOB, an amalgamation of all the bosses youve slogged through already and it's ridiculous. I finished it in a day, didnt even bother putting in the birds disk. Sold it back to the gameshop same day and resolved myself to getting through DMC1's hard mode, and Im having more fun being ripped off on hard mode than playing through the entire sequel.

The biggest fuck up, is that theres no story to be told. It's just go to one screen, shoot things, go to next screen, fight big demon miniboss/boss which says nothing. Theres nothing to keep you playing. I personally wanted to know more about the invincible sword master Sparda, and in the beginning it gives the impression it will tell you more, which is cruel IMO. All in all, I'd give this bag of wank 1/10 and the 1 is pure generosity, it should be 0.

The most bollock bashing thing about it, is that Dante was my favourite game hero. How dare they make a piece of arcadey shit like this with the DMC license. ITS FRIGGIN MURDER, CALL THE FBI.

The biggest arse of it all is that DMC2 may have closed off the license by being so shit, so they may not be a DMC3. Fingers crossed that I'm wrong....